vaincre l’automne…

It is only natural to be feeling this way. No need to worry, you are not alone.

While it is not easy to describe or even to see, it’s undeniably present amongst many of us, not just on Glendon campus, but among students anywhere.

We are now in the midst of one of the more dark periods that can arise throughout the year. The time when the weather turns cold, the darkness sets in prematurely, and even our most reliable comforts can no longer be relied on to eliminate our bleak feelings.

Perhaps I speak more for myself than others when I express a feeling most adequately described as “stuck.” Stuck between two comforting, family holidays. Stuck under pressures of midterms, essays, and evaluations. Stuck inside trying to avoid the increasingly chilly evenings. Stuck with doubts, disappointment, dissatisfaction… disinterest.

Unlike previous such periods, I have found myself more vocal, or perhaps more “tweet”-al, about these sentiments. These complaints did, in fact, become beneficial to me, as it was due to my griping that a fellow resident suggested this topic several days ago. It would seem, as my coworker and friend, Juan, points out in his blog, a lack of inspiration has been plaguing myself and others. Unlike my two previous posts, finding not only a topic, but the motivation and determination for this one has been a most difficult task. Even while writing, doubt and uncertainty haunts every sentence.

As I mentioned above, this phenomenon is oddly invisible and seldom mentioned, however intuitively felt among peers. Last week, for example, a friend of mine made a remark about how early the sun has been going down and the bleakness of our November weather. She followed with a casual mention of her surprise at not feeling more depressed lately. Her offhandedness struck me. I was comforted knowing that I wasn’t alone, and unnerved that I had even entertained such a self-centred, lonely idea. Her manner seemed to assume it was common knowledge that most people would be feeling in such a way during this time of year.

And in that lies the comfort, and the solution. I found myself, just yesterday, trying to discuss this topic in order to gain ideas and confidence to post about it. It became apparent in my explanation to another GCSU council member, that though this anguish we feel is confining and seems to have no end in sight, the acknowledgement of its presence in our peers is how it falls away, even if only temporarily. Spending time with our friends, enjoying their company, and keeping them content is the most effective way of battling the demons agonizing us. Personally, nothing feels better than to be having coffee with close friends in the familiar, comforting spaces on campus to me, such as the office or Lunik Coop Café.

Although I still feel concerned about the quality of this post, and certainly at a loss for ideas on how to end with some panache, I will do so with the small amount of confidence I have anyways. In closing, I will add a song that I find beautiful and comforting in the midst of autumn’s dark turn, and which was also the inspiration for this post’s title. (They will consistently be inspired by music; I am chronically unable to dream up titles for anything.)

Skip to the 50sec mark.


Philemon Chante “Vaincre l’automne” (Studio Egrem) from Audiogram on Vimeo.

Seuls dans ta chambre La lumière d’ange
Septembre dehors Et dans ta chambre
L’automne est entré
Tu l’as laissé passer
Poser ses feuilles sur ton corsage
Égratigné

Et de page en page Dans tes cahiers
Tu m’as conté L’écho des années
Passée comme otage
Dans ta tête en saccage
Démaquillée

Hier Pris dans tes bras
Pour une seconde J’ai cru en toi
Pour une seconde J’ai pas eu peur de tes yeux gris
Yeux de fillette abandonnée
J’suis pas ton père Ni ton sauveur
Mais J’vais t’aimer
T’aimer un peu pour vaincre l’automne
J’vais t’aimer
T’aimer un peu pour vaincre l’automne
Et sers-moi fort
Sers-moi fort

Seuls dans ta chambre Le cou en sang
J’n’avais pas vu Le rouge de tes dents
Pointées dans ma peau
Suçant mes souvenirs
Suçant mon sang Fier et ardent
Suçant ma peur

Ma peur de toi Peur d’être à deux
Peur d’être seul Et d’être sérieux
Nu et saoul dans la neige
Ma peur d’être enterré
Peur d’être heureux

Hier Pris dans tes bras
Pour une seconde J’ai cru en toi
Pour une seconde J’ai pas eu peur de tes yeux gris
Yeux de fillette abandonnée
J’suis pas ton père Ni ton sauveur
Mais J’vais t’aimer
T’aimer un peu pour vaincre l’automne
J’vais t’aimer
T’aimer un peu pour vaincre l’automne
Et sers-moi fort
Sers-moi fort

J’vais t’aimer
Et dormir un peu pour vaincre l’automne

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About Drew

just trying at the moment.
This entry was posted in Student Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to vaincre l’automne…

  1. Anonymous says:

    Un peu triste, mais tellement vrai ! Et bien écrit 🙂

  2. Esther Phua says:

    This is amazing, and again, speaks to me so much. Life can get pretty hopeless in November, but like you said, acknowledging the depression and bringing it out of the dark helps a lot. Thanks for this post Drew.

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